Your Stereotypical Fat Girl.

It seems as though I was ‘the skinny girl' only for a short while; sporadically through high school and continiously from ages 19 to 21. Never did I believe that I was ‘the skinny girl' and, naturally, I failed to bask in the glory of my thinness. Instead I wore baggy shirts and pants, kept my hair long and my head down.

Once I became ‘the fat girl' I saw the world through a new pair of eyes - a pair of eyes that stared back at me from a face made of round cheeks and an extra chin (albeit a small extra chin). Never did I realize what an influence my appearance had on the scale of social discrimination. Lacking external beauty is, pardon my pun, greatly shaded by societies outlook of obesity. Who knew being 'fat' was such a crime!

My fatness came partially (actually mainly) from not maintaining a healthy diet and partially from medical issues. Regardless of how it got there, once it did, that fat wasn't going anywhere except to my rear end, which is where it decided to make its home. Of course with my every misstep and new non-friend made, slams at my weight become an instant ego boost for the skinny. My intelligence level is obsolete when I have the girth of a tree.

With this, I feel that I must confess my adimant dislike of the old adage never trust a skinny cook. What is that supposed to mean, anyways? People should assume I am able to cook because of my size? How stereotypical is that?

I vaguely recall the first Thanksgiving dinner I cooked; I was 19 and cooking for approximately 15 Marines and a few of their straggling spouses. Oddly enough, very few people commented on the abilities I had in the kitchen at such a tender age. Instead they focused on how a skinny girl like me could cook. Why in the world would my size make any difference in my approach to cooking?

You know...I really don't know where I am going with this. I suppose the multiple insults I have received in reference to my weight, as of late, have made me inbittered. Just because I am overweight does not make me less of a person. It doesn't mean I am lazy or unmotivated. It doesn't mean that I lack drive. In addition to this, just because I am heftier now then I was 10 years ago doesn't make me magically able to cook. When I lose weight, if I ever lose weight, I am not going to lose my abilities and skills in the kitchen. I can cook because I am passionate about combining flavors and scents to create a pallat worthy of royalty. Cooking relaxes me yet challenges me. It allows me to be creative yet precise. Cooking isn't for the skinny or thin...it is for the devoted. Those that are willing to push the line and try new things. For those that feel the joy and exhileration of watching their friends and family take that initial bite of love on a fork.

Fat or not fat, I cook for the love of cooking. If you don't like that, I suggest you look the other way! It isn't my weight that makes me who I am but rather what is inside that all that weight is protecting!

/ramble.